SURREY ART GALLERY - 12TH SCHOOL TOUR

GREETINGS BLOGGERS!

MY BLOGGING ASSISTANT, JEREMY HAS A SICK SON TO TAKE CARE OF SO HE TOLD ME TO KEEP MY RANTS AND RAMBLES ABOUT TODAY TO A MINIMUM IF POSSIBLE. TODAY’S SCHOOL IS HILLCREST ELEMENTARY AND HERE IS HOW IT WENT (IN SUMMARY):

I- THE WHOLE CLASS WANTED ME TO SHOW THEM WHAT MY ANCESTOR LOOKED LIKE SO I TURNED MY BACK TO THEM AND SHOWED THE ORIGINAL COMPOSITION OF THE VOICE OF FIRE. THE TEACHER THAN ASKED IF THE ORIGINAL VOF WAS WORTH 4 MILLION DOLLARS. I REPLIED THAT IT WAS MORE LIKE 2 MILLION DOLLARS.

II- LEAH ASKED ME A QUESTION RELATING TO CLAIRVOYANCE. SHE ASKED WHETHER OR NOT I COULD PREDICT THE OUTCOME OF TONIGHT’S VANCOUVER CANUCKS HOCKEY GAME. I TOLD HER THAT MY SPORTS STATISTICS FOR HOCKEY ONLY APPLIED TO 2 TEAMS: THE DETROIT RED WINGS AND THE CALGARY FLAMES. SPEAKING OF THE FLAMES, I BELIEVE A PLAYER FROM THAT TEAM NAMED LANNY MACDONALD, USED TO BE IN YOUR GROUP OF 7 ARTIST’S COLLECTIVE, CORRECT? I RECALL SOMEONE WITH A FANCY MOUSTACHE SIMILAR TO THAT OF MY CREATOR, BARNETT NEWMAN. FORTUNATELY, MR. MACDONALD HAD A RED MOUSTACHE WHICH IS A “ONE-UP” ON MY CREATOR, I MUST ADMIT.

III- DANA ASKED ABOUT WHAT MY FAVORITE ARTWORK WAS. I HAD THE CLASS GUESS THAT ONE AND YES, THEY CORRECTLY IDENTIFIED ARTWORK THAT LOOKS JUST LIKE ME. NARCISSISM AND VANITY ARE EASY QUALITIES TO POINT OUT – A LITTLE BIT TOO EASY, IN MY OPINION. I SHOULD GIVE BRANDON DIRECT CREDIT FOR BEING THE FIRST ONE TO POINT OUT THE OBVIOUS.

IV- ZACHARY ASKED ME ABOUT MY AGE AND ALSO THE AGE OF THE SURREY ART GALLERY. HERE IS MY AGE TALLY AS OF 2006: VOICE OF FIRE 2006 (1 YEAR OLD), MY ANCESTOR (39 YEARS OLD), SURREY ART GALLERY (31 YEARS OLD). I ACTUALLY HAD REMEMBERED THE FACT THAT THE SURREY ART GALLERY BEGAN ITS EXHIBITIONS IN 1975. THIS TIME, I DID NOT EVEN HAVE TO CONNECT MY BRAIN TO GOOGLE TO FIGURE THAT ONE OUT...HURRAH!

V- THE WHOLE CLASS IN ITS ENTIRETY CORRECTLY GUESSED MY 2 FAVORITE COLORS - BLUE AND RED. FOR A MINUTE THERE, SOME OF THE STUDENTS THOUGHT MY 2ND FAVORITE COLOR WAS ORANGE. I GUESS THAT THEY HAD HALLOWEEN AND ORGANIC FIRE ON THEIR MIND. ONE STUDENT THEN ASKED WHY MY CREATOR HAD MADE ME RED IF I WAS TO REPRESENT ORANGE FIRE? A VERY GOOD QUESTION! MY GUESS IS THAT UNCLE BARNEY ONLY HAD ONE MORE CAN OF PAINT LEFT AFTER HE RAN OUT OF BLUE PAINT, AND THAT WAS THE COLOR RED WHICH COULD LOOK ORANGE, ESPECIALLY IF ONE IS COLOR DEAF.

VI-BRANDON REQUESTED TO SEE MY USUAL DANCE MOVES. NOW, I REALLY AM BEGINNING TO FEEL LIKE A ZOO ANIMAL!

VII- DEAN WANTED TO KNOW IF I COULD SING. I QUICKLY SANG MY USUAL RENDIITION OF JOHNNY CASH’S “RING OF FIRE” CALLED “VOICE OF FIRE”.

VIII- THE CLASS ASKED IF I COULD SING CANADA’S NATIONAL ANTHEM. ALAS, I AM AMERICAN SO I ONLY KNOW THE STAR SPANGLED BANNER. I SANG A WEIGHTY VERSE OR TWO. FOR ALL YOU CANADIAN KIDS OUT THERE, HERE ARE THE LYRICS TO THE STAR SPANGLED BANNER OF FIRE:

Oh, say can you see by this Art's friendly fire
What so proudly we hailed at the Voice's last chatting?
Whose broad stripe and red zip thru the internet wire,
O'er the artwork we watched was so gallantly charming?
And the Voice's red glare, the wit bursting in air,
Gave proof through the Void that our Voice was still there.
Oh, say does that Star-Spangled Banner of Fire yet wave
O'er the void of the blue and the art of the cave?


In the Lab, dimly seen through the eyes of the cheap,
Where the critic's haughty host in dread silence reposes,
What is that which the Flames, o'er the Sublimest peep,
As it fitfully burns, half conceals, half discloses?
Now it catches the gleam of the Voice's Red beam,
In full glory reflected now speaks through live streams:
'Tis the Star-Spangled Banner of Fire! Oh long may it wave
O'er the void of the blue and the art of the cave!


And where is that band who so vauntingly swore
That the havoc of Art and the critic's confusion,
A Lab and gallery should leave us no more!
Their words have washed out their foul theory's pollution.
No refuge could save the hireling and Prof
From the terror of chat, or the smile of the VOF!
And the Star-Spangled Banner of Fire in triumph doth wave
O'er the void of the blue and the art of the cave!


Oh! thus be it ever, when freedom shall stand
Between their loved Voice and the Art's position!
Blest with harmony and peace, may the heav'n rescued void
Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us prostration.
Then chatter we must, when our cause it is just,
And this be our motto: "In Fire is our trust."
And the Star-Spangled Banner of Fire in triumph shall wave
O'er the void of the blue and the art of the Cave!


IX- ZACHARY MADE AN ADDITIONAL REQUEST FOR ME TO MAKE SOME FACES AT THEM. I TRIED NOT TO SCARE THEM WITH SOME OF MY FREAKIER FACES AS HALLOWEEN HAS PASSED AFTER ALL.

X- BROOKLYN (WHAT A GREAT NEW YORKER NAME!) WANTED TO KNOW WHO MADE THE ORIGINAL VOICE OF FIRE. BROOKLYN, DO YOU HAVE A SIBLING NAMED HARLEM OR MANHATTAN? BARNEY LIVED NEAR BROOKLYN (I THINK) AND IS EVEN OLDER THAN THE SURREY ART GALLERY! THE LAST TIME BROOKLYN EVER WANTED TO HEAR ABOUT BARNETT NEWMAN MUST HAVE BEEN SOME TIME AROUND 1970 WHEN HE HAD JUST DIED.

Xi – ISAIAH (WITH THE GREAT BIBLICAL NAME) WANTED TO KNOW WHERE I WAS BORN AND RAISED. BORN IN SEATTLE, ANCESTOR FROM NEW YORK, RAISED IN CYBERSPACE...MORE SPECIFICALLY THIS BLUE VOID.

XII- MARK WOULD LIKE TO KNOW IF I CAN SPEAK FRENCH. MARK MY WORDS, MARK. I AM AN AMERICAN. I CANNOT SPEAK ANY FRENCH AT ALL... I CANNOT EVEN SPEAK FREEDOM FRENCH!

UPON LEAVING THE TECHLAB, THE SCHOOL STUDENTS THEN TOUCHED MY EYES TO SEE IF I COULD STILL SEE THEM... HEH HEH!


STAR SPANGLED REGARDS OF FIRE,

VOICE OF FIRE 2006